Oaxaca is beautiful...vibrant...wonderful...alive...
It's everything I'm not.
As my body floats down countless colorful streets, ears taking in the mariachi music that acts as a soundtrack for my trip, eyes chasing light and figures and faces, my mind is elsewhere. Further away. Somewhere darker, more clouded, fuzzy. It's hard to pour my heart into anything these days when most days I question whether or not I still have one.
In a country of 108 million people, how is it possible to feel so all alone?
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Melissa,
ReplyDeleteyou are not alone. you've got everyone who loves you and cares about you and admires you with you. in oaxaca, wherever. always.
i am in a dark country myself, and it weighs heavy on my head. it can be so hard sometimes. i know how you feel, your mind elsewhere, when you are there and you feel like the time is passing, this is the moment and you can't get inside it, work inside it, let alone enjoy it.
give yourself a rest. a break. step back from it for a few hours, for an afternoon. it will pass, and when it does, then push yourself, push the pictures, push the experience.
it is hard sometimes for everyone. lonely. you can be surrounded by people, even friends, and feel like the last person on earth. but it is just that. a feeling. we are all here.
desde guatemala, un abrazo,
victro blue
Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI often struggle with this. I am currently a traveling intern and having a hard time finding that focus I had more of before that drove me to telling the stories i had a passion for. The one quote I can pass along that ties in with keeping focused is "I'm faithful to my purpose, my mission, my assignment, my work, my dreams. I stay focused on what I'm doing and what's important. And I keep in flight—I spread my wings and do it."
- John White ~ Chicago Sun-Times Photojournalist
Good luck and don't give in to the feeling of being alone. It can drive anyone crazy including myself.
I think that you have written one of the most beautiful blog posts I have ever read.
ReplyDeleteWow.
Thank you.