Main Entry: dor·mant
Pronunciation: \ˈdȯr-mənt\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, fixed, stationary, from Anglo-French, from present participle of dormir to sleep, from Latin dormire; akin to Sanskrit drāti he sleeps
Date: circa 1500
- : represented on a coat of arms in a lying position with the head on the forepaws
- : marked by a suspension of activity
- : temporarily devoid of external activity (a dormant volcano) b: temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated 3 a: asleep, inactive b: having the faculties suspended : sluggish c: having biological activity suspended: as (1): being in a state of suspended animation (2): not actively growing but protected (as by bud scales) from the environment —used of plant parts
- : associated with, carried out, or applied during a period of dormancy
i've been shooting a lot of snapshots. doing some visual yoga. stepping away from the camera and back to it, trying to find my place with it. it was once so comfortable and second nature. then life got in the way.
some days the last thing i want to do is shoot - specifically shoot for myself. but even my daily assignments, even my long term projects all feel like a mirror image. i've been doing this long enough that i can tell what kind of day i was having based on the image. i can read my mood by the color palette used, by the composition, by how intimate i was with my subjects, or how standoffish. there are times when i pray for the easy shoots - the ones where i don't have to talk to anyone. building mugs, lots of land and flowers in pretty gardens... bring 'em on.
photography is not only a record of the moment and of the event in front of you -- for me it's also a record of myself. and there are times, when i want no paper trail, no indicator of my mood, no recollection of the destination... no memory of me.
What no photo. Come on M. Hit me with some love.
ReplyDeletefor you, anything. consider it done.
ReplyDeletei love this site! so proud of you.
ReplyDeletewe must think absolutely alike. well said.
ReplyDeletedang lady. i thought i was a freak for thinking like this sometimes. this post is very comforting indeed. thanks for articulating the shit that bounces around in my head.
ReplyDeleteI totally get this post. Thanks for saying it.
ReplyDeletethis just proves all "artists" are neurotic. =)
ReplyDeleteglad i'm not the only one. i'd be curious to hear how you guys get through periods like this one...
Time. Focus on the moment you're in rather than the "big picture". Whatever.
ReplyDeleteI've never found a total escape, your "no memory of me". Somedays survival isn't enough, somedays it's about thriving, other days, it's only about surviving till tomorrow.
The wonder and horror about any feeling, any emotion, is that whatever you feel today, will be different tomorrow, different next month, and different next year.
And if you ever find a way to remove yourself from your photos, do me favor, never tell me. As horrible as it may be somedays to see myself in my photos, to see myself there over and over again, I'd feel so much worse, vacant, to not be there. If I wasn't in my images, even just a little, what would be there?