Sometimes I wish I could pour the contents of my head out. Gathered are so many fragments of useless information: lyrics to songs from the 80s, words spilling out from the pages of books trapped within the recesses of my brain, scenes replaying from countries visited and trips taken, many pictures cataloged and filed away as part of the photographic library in my head. I want to fill it with something real. Something important.
To start anew is to go back to that sense of wonder and awe, somehow as you grow older, that's replaced with disbelief, skepticism and cynicism. I don't wish to go back in time, knowing what I know now. I want to go back to being 5 where everything is a new experience and the thought that everything is cool. Rent and mortgages, bills and insurance are so not cool.
Sometimes I wonder if what I do, the photos I make, have any impact... Because isn't that what we all want. For our work to make a difference in this world. To bring about social change. To right wrongs. Most photojournalists I know don't do it for the money or the awards; it's done for the love of people and the appreciation of the craft.
Though, I've watched many a good photojournalist cross over from a healthy ego and a desire to keep getting better into the world of narcissism and self-righteousness. They are great. Their work is great. They forget about what's really important. They forget that the pictures they take are not theirs, they belong to the people in front of the camera. It's about them, not us.
That's as close to wonder and awe I get these days. Reminding myself that I'm merely the conduit. That all I do is push a button. That everyone has a story to tell. And if I shut up and forget mine, I can take in theirs. And hopefully fill my brain with their stories, ridding myself of my own.
for what it's worth, i often find myself thinking "what would melissa do" when faced with a difficult photo situation or when looking for motivation. you and your work have had an impact on me.
ReplyDelete"Most photojournalists I know don't do it for the money or the awards; it's done for the love of people and the appreciation of the craft."
ReplyDeleteI'm not so certain.
We are ALL programmed to find meaning and in a multitude of ways. I'm grateful that I use a camera to record my memories.
I certainly have no affinity for collection campaign pins nor do I have any great love for antiques.
Nevertheless, everyone finds meaning in their own way.
But if we truly connect, then doesn't life become that much more meaningful for both of us?
Thanks for your thought provoking post!