every day that i photograph, every person i meet on assignment, every picture i take, i fall in love a little bit. i think that if you really love this job, you have to. but with every love, there is loss when you have to leave, when you're not sure if you'll see that person again. so every day is a little love and a little loss, over and over again. so while some people are loving and losing and embracing that, i find myself hesitant to initiate that cycle again because i'm almost paralyzed with the fear of those little losses.My friend Ariel Zambelich has a nice post about the debilitating fear of NYC and the personal toll loss has on your photography. So, what are your fears? What scares you?
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Ariel's Song
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lately i am becoming more and more aware of the fact that my biggest fear (from which all the small ones result) is the fear of not being able to let go (and let be). whether things, people, life or simple myself. thinking that i will lose everything and everybody, including myself (personality), in case i don't try to keep it all. but this is it - i can't keep anything or anybody. no matter how hard i try. i only can and have to let IT go. but because i am scared i can't let it happen and that's why i am not able to see that nothing bad will follow. my fear is bigger then my sanity. still. however, i am working on my way out of this antagonism.
ReplyDeleteprobably it sounds crazy and confusing. but are fears not exactly this -- irrational?
what are your fears, m.?
silvia